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I've been absent.
Absent from all that is sane.

I'm leaving my job on the 20th of this month after 2 1/2 years.
My mind has been elsewhere. Definitely not anywhere near here.
Things are looking up/down/sideways -- it's all a blur.

I'm able to hold it together.
Put it into words. Pictures. Gestures.
I've been moving along with the pace of a snail yet everything is rushing by me.

Fast. Faster. Fastest.

I don't feel wanted/needed there anymore. I feel like I've outstayed my welcome - and though they need me [and boy do they need me] I have decided that it's now my time to part ways.
I've given my life to this place and I've gotten nothing back..except for the few best friends that I'll hold close - so very tight.

On the other side, I've never been happier.
My marriage is seeing highs it hasn't seen in a very long time.
Don't get me wrong. I've always loved my husband with love that could shake the heavens - I have always wanted the best for him - for me - for us. We've just been stretched to our limits with stress from me and my job for too long. It's time for a happier me.

That time is now.

As the countdown continues until I last step foot in that place as a partner, I look back and realize that I have had some of the best times in my life and met some of the best people. Even though there are a handful of bad eggs that I cannot stand the thought of, I never wish I hadn't met them. All of them had there place in my life. I don't regret much. The flip-side? I have met two people [who are still there] who I can clearly say will be life-long friends. A few others fit into the category of friends you see when you return and they'll always be a friend -- -- well, you know.

I'm nervous.

All I know is Starbucks. It's been my job for the last 4 1/2 years.

I'm hopeful about my interview.
It will be better for me. For us.

I'm in need of something new.








It will all be ok.